Are We Really Prepared for a Zombie Attack?

Love letter to George Romero disguised as an Onion article.

Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
Federal Undead Management Agency spokesperson Dr. Sheena Aurora downplayed the ZPI report, arguing that zombies move slowly and can be easily overpowered. Aurora advised citizens to look over their shoulders frequently, adding that a large shopping mall can serve as a “long-term, even fun” refuge from zombies.

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