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Further Embarrassment

I don't know if you've seen the Bush-authored poem to his wife, but The Missouri Review has it, along with ironic commentary. It's staggeringly bad, and I wonder if his handlers thought that showing that his writing style is akin to that of a second grader would endear him out of his plummeting support?

Dear Mr. G.W. Bush / Re: Your recent submission

by Scott Kaukonen

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you.
Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.
—G.W. Bush, 2003

Dear Mr. G.W. Bush,

We would like to thank you for the submission of your untitled poem ("Roses are red/Violets are blue") to The Missouri Review. We assure you that it received the utmost attention of our editorial staff. Though we regret that we are unable to accept your poem for publication, we would like to share a few observations and to offer suggestions towards a revision. It is our belief that another draft or two might strengthen the chances of the poem's later publication—if not in the pages of our own humble journal, then perhaps in another of greater merit.

And wasn't it the monkey himself who dropped the dog? Way to shift blame!

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